What comes to your mind when you hear 'umbilical cord'?
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| The bond that lasts a lifetime (Source : Google Images) |
For me, it paints a picture of a connection. A very strong connection.
A connection through which we had drawn our sustenance & strength from our mothers when we were still in her womb. We had even drawn our very life breath through that connection!
Once we were 'delivered', the umbilical cord no longer served its purpose. It was cut. Physically, that is.
But the emotional connection or attachment to our mothers persists. We still draw our emotional strength from her. Usually, the attachment to one's mother is more than to the father. Am I stating the obvious? Maybe. For some, the attachment with both is very strong. As toddlers we are still dependent on our parents.
And as one grows older, the connection to the parents, in the sense of dependence on them for anything like day-to-day decision making, likes-dislikes, etc, becomes reduced. In some extreme cases, they are cut fully and drastically. And in the other extreme, the dependency goes to irritating levels, often causing pain and discord in relationships.
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| Source : Google Images |
It does seem a bit strange to have such strong levels of dependency on parents when one is an adult, at which point a person is expected to be quite independent. It becomes imperative that the invisible umbilical cord is cut a second time i.e reduce the dependency on the parents or siblings or whoever it is and learn to stand on one's own feet. The cutting can happen from the parents too, if the children become a pain in the butt and refuse to grow up!
On similar lines, one usually has a strong attachment to the place of birth or the place where one grew up. An invisible umbilical cord connects the two. And unless there is a very strong reason for a person to not visit or think of his /her place of birth (motherland) or place of growing up (may be thought of as "roots"), this connection will always be there. Thankfully, this usually is a very peaceful umbilical cord and not an irritating one.
What are your thoughts on this?
Hey...we have to set the kids free physically and emotionally too, after a certain age. We have to convince them that we are there from them whenever they need us. A healthy loving relationship is a must. And yes, I have a connection with my 'roots' which cannot be explained.
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you on all accounts Janu :) The connection with the place where we were born and have spent the childhood, is an inexplicable one.
DeletePhysical connection via the umbilical cord is a fact. The emotional umbilical cord that follows has to develop, it is never a given, even if it be with the one who gave birth. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat you say is true, Shail. Emotional attachment is not a given. :)
DeleteThats so true, we need to set them free !
ReplyDeleteThat's right, Ananya!
DeleteDropping by after reading Ghata's blog and feels good to see two two umbilical cord posts with almost similar essence. Love the way U write
ReplyDeleteYes at times it is good to cut off the connections and be independent but emotional connect shud remain like the way it is with mother land :)
enjoyed the post Prathima
Thank you Afshan! I too visited Ghata's post and was surprised to find such an interesting coincidence; that our today's posts match to such an extent..
DeleteRelationships are complicated things and a question of give and take. Each one is different and as they say what's good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander. But hopefully that umbilical connection is a peaceful one. must be a day for umbilical chords - Ghata wrote on it too.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Suzy. Relationships are complicated entities. People add to the complexity by their own doing. :) Yes, it looks like it is Umbilical Cord day :)
DeleteSome parents refuse to give up control.They constantly spoon feed.This makes it very difficult for the child to become independent.
ReplyDeleteLikewise some children refuse to grow up.Setting them free makes no change.So umbilical cord has to be cut both ways.
What you say is true, Vasudha!
DeleteSo true...a person should be allowed to grow!
ReplyDeleteU for Uncanny-Random Thoughts Naba
Absolutely Nabanita!
DeleteAs parents it is very easy for us to control our kids' life. Infact it becomes second nature, since in the early years that is our only duty as a parent. But with time we have to learn to let go, to teach them how to survive on their own but still remain connected to us. I have just started the journey, gradually teaching my elder one to be more independent.
ReplyDeleteI understand Sfurti. Wish you all the very best :)
DeleteI don't know about other people Prathima, but I cannot stay away from Jabalpur. I get terribly homesick each time and since I am asthmatic, I get an asthma attack too. In short, my connection with my city is very, very strong. I can never explain it to anyone.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about the asthma Dagny. Pls do take care. I can understand the strong connection. It's very tough to stay away and makes it difficult o leave every time we are there. I guess, we might find it possible to break the connection with people but difficult to do that with a place.
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