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"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears!"
"Keep your ears open."
"Listen to me and listen to me carefully"
"Pay attention"
We have all heard these lines (of course, the first one rarely!) or some form of it time and again. Isn't it?
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Here's a little exercise for you today. When someone talks to you, be consciously aware how much attention you are giving to that person. Did you fully understand what that person was telling you?
Similarly, observe what the person you are talking to is doing. Is that person paying full attention to what you are saying? Does he/she come across as distracted or listening half-heartedly? Not there fully with you? How do you as the talker, feel?
We usually hear, but not listen so much. How many times have we been asked "Are you listening to me?" or told "You didn't even listen to what I said" and how many times we have used these lines with others.
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Most often than not, we reply on auto-pilot. We have learnt to make the appropriate sounds to make the person talking believe that we are actually listening.
Active listening through asking relevant questions, making a sincere attempt to understand and then respond appropriately, is being encouraged in order to have meaningful communication.
We all have our sounding boards, who allow us to talk while all they do is just listen with rapt attention. How light and positive we have felt after talking to them. If both the parties feel like that with each conversation they have, how wonderful and life changing would that be!
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Listen and be listened to!
Some of my fellow challengers:
Indeed empathetic and active listening is a Healer. It heals and benefits both the listener and the listened to.
ReplyDeleteSo true, Shalu :)
DeleteAm so glad about ur choice of topic today- U know what this does not apply only to listening, it happens even with Blog Reading. People usually give their two cents even before they finish the post :P
ReplyDeleteanyway Its so true that the speaker loses interest . Happened with me maany times. I try to b cautious while others speak so as not to interrupt them but a couple of times if I have the urge to speak I break the rule :)
Good one prathima
Hope many read this
Amdire your honesty Afshan :) And thank you for your kind words.
DeleteWe listen with the intent to reply.. to counter.. to win. We listen putting ourselves first. As if every conversation were a battleground in which we must prove our prowess.
ReplyDeleteAnd so we miss out on a whole world full of insights and learning.
Come to think of it, you are absolutely right, Dagny. Certain conversations becomes a tussle for control.
DeleteSo true! Listening I think is an art else the person speaking or we are in conversation with loses interest
ReplyDeleteL for loved-Random Thoughts Naba
Absolutely, Nabanita! Thank you for dropping by.
DeleteLovely post. I had written something along the same lines a while back. Listening is very important, we hear but don't listen most of the time.I make an effort to listen and respect the ones doing the talking, without mentally framing replies :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping by, Sulekka and your kind words. I too try my best to listen :)
DeleteI agree..I mostly hear, not listen but I am aware of it and when I know how much a listening ear matters, I do listen. Else am on auto pilot mode :D
ReplyDeleteI guess, it's very rare to find a real good listener who is not a counselor. I understand that counselors are trained to be good listeners. :)
DeleteI am an awfull listener.I must learn to listen to others.Thank you, for this post !I need to keep reminding myself ,that I am, yet to, learn to listen.
ReplyDeleteI also keep reminding myself to listen carefully, Vasudha. Thank for your stopping by.
DeleteA good post that reminds us of the need to listen with all our heart. All too often, we hear what others say, but mentally we are thinking about our response.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cynthia. That's true. Listening with all our hearts matter.
DeleteAgree...we are preparing our reply instead of listening. My kids always complain.
ReplyDeleteI ask people if they have understand what I said and if I am not convinced I sometimes even ask them to repeat what I said but in their own words. I adopt this mechanism, esp with kids or if I feel that the listener is distracted. :)
DeleteThe simple reason that we have two ears and one mouth itself says that we need to listen more than we speak :-) unfortunately, most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.... Thank you Prats for making us think...
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ravi. Yes, I agree. :)
DeleteGood listening involves focusing solely on what the person is saying, and not letting your mind wander or engaging in other activities.
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping in Sherry. Absolutely agree with your words.
DeleteIf only we would "listen" to what our loved ones say, parents, partners, teachers, kids. The world would definitely be a better place.
ReplyDeleteWhat you say is true Arpita.
DeleteI was not that good a listener before. Marriage has made me one now. But, I agree, most of the time, the replies are ready even before the other person stops talking.
ReplyDeleteI do it too so many times. :)
DeleteHonestly speaking, sometimes when I know the person is going to drone on, I do stop listening though I nod my head and pretend to hear what they have to say! !
ReplyDeleteOh yes, valid point Roshni. It's very difficult to be fully there with someone who rambles on and on, with no sensitivity shown towards the listener. After a few minutes, we easily zone out with eyes all glazed over.
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