Alamelu

She woke up with a start from a sleep which was already fitful.  A look at the bedside clock told her that it was 3am. She was excited and nervous as she padded to the bathroom. The pregnancy test came out positive! She could barely contain herself.  Her husband who was asleep was shaken awake and the result was shown. Oh, the excitement of first time parents-to-be.

As she laid her head on the pillow, her mind made it's way to those days when she and the man she loved & married, were still getting to know each other before their wedding. When the topic of children had come up, the husband-to-be had said that he always wanted a daughter. Jokingly, he gave the name Alamelu to this yet-to-be-conceived daughter of theirs. The name stuck and popped up whenever any discussion about kids had taken place between them. Finally, the day had dawned when Alamelu, a dream till then, became an unplanned yet delightful reality.

Days passed. Energy sapping 'morning' sickness lasting all day, juices, healthy eating, aversion to certain smells, advice from people on the Do's and Don't's became the order of the day. She still could not believe that a life was growing within her; something created by her and the man she loved.

Gradually she came to accept that she was indeed going to be a mother, after all the years of yearning to be one. Alamelu! Their Alamelu, would be in her arms in a few months' time. Oh, the joy of it! She could hardly wait. She started to talk to the growing life within her; telling her how much she was wanted and how much they both loved her. She started to weave dreams about the three of them; of the wonderful times they would have together, as a family; school days, homework times, project times, festivals, outings, holidays, meeting cousins and the extended families, so on and so forth.

A few days later, she was rushed to the hospital. There, on the scanning monitor she saw Alamelu's tiny form and her tiny heart beating away rapidly! Their very own Alamelu was there for them to see. When she was told that all is well, immense relief washed over her. She asked if she can have a print of her baby's scan and was gladly obliged. Clutching the print tightly, she came back home all the while speaking ever so softly to tiny Alamelu, that Amma and Appa will not allow anything to happen to her as they love her a lot.

That very evening showed her that the print which she got that afternoon, was to be the first and the last ever picture of Alamelu. Sheer helplessness and the inability to save Alamelu tore her apart. Shocked beyond belief, physically drained and emotionally broken, she lay there as tears flowed unabated for a dream that was shattered forever. Each day rolled into the next.

Their dream, their Alamelu, was gone as quickly as she had come in.

She took another sad look at the calendar on her desk. March 8th. Same day many years ago, her Alamelu had gone out of their lives.

The grainy black & white print and the memories of those few precious days of motherhood were all that remained.










This post is for 2014 A to Z Challenge